Awards Mean What, Really?

by Emon Hassan on July 16, 2009

The fascination some people, a large ‘some’ at that, have with awards or award shows is disturbing. I know, because I was one of them. Oscars, Emmys, Golden Globes, Cannes, Tonys etc etc. What do they really mean? That your work is better than someone else’s? That you’re recognized by a group of people who are famous, and most likely have no idea what the fuck they’re doing there in the first place, for your talent?

It used to be that having an award was a manna from heaven in terms of marketing. No one gives a shit now. Every one of us is, in addition to being a consumer, a reviewer and a broadcaster. Awards mattered when we looked up to the only one or two sources that would narrow things down for us to watch, read, or listen to.

I say if you can’t win ’em, create your own awards. Prior experience required is having a tiny dick and low self esteem. You gather some big names, have them sit in a room and pick a winner at something. Come up with titles such as ‘Best Writing before commercial break” or “Best Actor Out of Work.”

Success of an award show depends on how much money you shower it with and the quality of names you can bring together. If the big names are not doing anything in particular, they’ll come to your show because you’ll go all out on the food, party and swags for them.

Don’t you ever wonder who are those academy members, or whatever, who pick their nominees or winners?

I agree that it doesn’t hurt to win an award. It has helped a lot of people. But haven’t we seen, heard, or read award winners that sucked balls?

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