How To Write A Movie About Foreign Dictators…

by Emon Hassan on May 11, 2008

… And Sell It To Hollywood.

Very easy. Make sure there’s a good looking white guy in the movie. At the end of the first act, make sure he be the only person to stand up to the dictator and say, “General, what you’re doing is wrong! These are people for gossakes! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

Of course the General won’t kill the guy for standing up to him in front of his own people. Instead feel free to have the General say, “If it were someone else I’d have killed you on the spot. But you…no…you have the courage to stand up to General [insert name here].”

He’ll then summon a smile and conclude, “You…are my true friend, white guy [better if he says the name of the hero]. My people can learn a lot from you, .”

After that, you might as well have both of them sing karaoke duets, no one will question its authenticity. You can even have the white guy be with the dictator’s wife in a room alone. Maybe make her fall in love with him too… a little. Or have him play with his kids and teach them how to play football (not soccer) made out of their favorite toy. No one will mind. After all, he did say at the end of the first act: “General, what you’re…”

There you have it, a successful recipe to a movie about foreign dictators.

p.s. this works even if you’re a white guy in a traditional Japanese Samurai village or a teacher in a Chinese empire.

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