I Confess

by Emon Hassan on May 6, 2008

I want to be filthy rich. I know I said it doesn’t matter a whole lot but that’s a lie. “Money is the root of all evil” No it’s not. Assholes are the root of all evil. Money just makes it easy for assholes to afford expensive asshole toys.

Why would becoming wealthy be bad? “Money makes people forget the value of friendship”. Correction: Money allows you to find out how much will it exactly take to have a ‘friend’ sell his/her soul. Otherwise you’d always be guessing. Money digs up relatives you didn’t know existed. Even Ancestry.org doesn’t have that reach.

Just having a lot of money makes a lot of people work for you for free. Try that when you’re counting pennies for the bus fare.

“Money can’t buy me love” But simply dangling it will get you plenty of love and affection, and volunteers. It will turn people into puppets, and you don’t even have to ask them. They’ll even do Shakespeare.

“You’ll never find true love when you have money because the wrong kind will always be after you.”

Well…I’ve always fallen for the wrong kind, so it will just be a change in the direction of motion. The best part about that: Multiple choices. :)

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