How am I supposed to search for the bigger things in life when I let a drop in a blog ranking (for guitar blog) upset me? A journey is supposed to not be about going from point A to B, nor is it supposed to be mathematical in its recognition.
But it did upset me. And if I, for a second, started to believe that all that was beneath me, then I’m set straight: I will always be human.
I haven’t gotten into a transition phase yet. Haven’t had my period of post-blues yet. Remarkably enough, the feeling of doubt is less disabling. I think I like that a lot. Especially since the decision has been made and there’s no turning back. Feelings are, currently, part excitement, part uncertainty – not doubt – part rejuvenation, and part loss (though a hint of it).
Whether I can ever make you understand that or not, but having a 50/50 shot at success/failure is exactly the place to be, to be free.
Anyway…3 more days to go.